The Comparison Snowball Part I

Social media is great, and I hate to admit that I like it.  However, the downside is that I have to be super careful with it, or I may end up in what I call "the comparison snowball".

While we all know already that social media is basically everyone's highlight reel of life being shown to the public, those of us who suffer with the "disease to please" and an addiction to Facebook "likes" might find themselves comparing.  Even those without this predisposition can find themselves in a comparison trap!  It's just that we see something that someone else is doing well, and while we are genuinely (or not genuinely) happy for them and their greatness, what we suddenly see is everything we are not good at it.

Here is an example:

"Oh, look!  'Jenny' completed a 10km marathon this weekend. (hit "like" or "love") Good for her!  That must have been hard.  I can do hard things.  Or can I?  I've tried running and didn't like it.  Maybe I can't do hard things.  Maybe I'm just failing at mothering because my kids don't see me doing anything hard (forgetting that not running is not failure, and all the other things you do well). I suck. She should probably be my kids' mom".

This is exaggerating a little - but it's honestly what my mind starts to do with someone else's accomplishments. I will completely forget my value, my worth, my own strengths, abilities, talents and accomplishments.  The snowball starts to roll, and I literally throw myself into an anxiety attack / depression.

I'm learning to stop these negative thought "snowballs".  As soon as I start the long list of my failures in my mind, I stop and start reminding myself of successes.

Here is an example of the POSITIVE thought process:

"Oh, looks! 'Jenny' completed a 10km marathon this weekend.  Good for her!  That must have been hard.  Can I do hard things?  Yes, I also do hard things.  I've gone through hard things, and made it through.  I take good care of my kids all day, every day.  I love them, and they love me back.  I'm fun to be with, and I love to do little things for my friends that make them feel special.  So while I don't run, I am good at a lot of other things. I'm going to send 'Jenny' a message to tell her I'm proud of her - because that is what I am good at."